Before your Constellation Workshop: Preparation.                        To download printable version of this file please click here

How to support yourself best after the Constellation Workshop?   To download printable version of this file please click here

Before your Constellation Workshop

To get the most out of your Constellation workshops it is better to arrive prepared.

Try to find out some facts about your family of origin or former partners of your parents: 

Did you or anyone in your family:

• have any divorces, adoptions?

• die in childbirth?

• suffer illness or disability resulting from having given birth to a child (your mother, grandmother, great-grand-mother, or a former partner of your father or grandfather)?

• find her life in danger during childbirth (your mother or grandmother)?

• commit or attempt a suicide?

• serve or die in military service, or in a war?

• become a prisoner of war, or spent time in concentration camps?

• have a stillborn child?

• have an abortion or a miscarriage?

Note: Abortions and in some cases miscarriages affect the couple's or parents' relationship, and may or may not have an impact on the other children. Children should not inquire about an abortion or miscarriage, honoring it as part of the dignity and privacy of the parent's relationship. A stillborn child, however, is considered a sibling and children do better to  know about it.

• have an illegitimate child?

• have a child who was abandoned or given up for adoption?

• have a difficult birth (including Cesarian section)?

• experience separation from the mother at a young age (e.g. an illness or hospital stay)?

• experience a traumatic event during childhood?

• have a life-threatening event/accident at any age?

• have a former spouse, fiancé, partner or lover (the parents or grandparents)?

Note: Children should inquire about former partners only if they were a spouse or fiancé. Other kinds of relationships may be known about from family "stories" but are a part of the parents' privacy. However, children do better to know about children from any former relationship.

• have a serious illness?

• have a long-lasting illness?

• have a physical or mental disability?

• commit a crime, including a war crime?

Note: Children should not inquire about war crimes, but it may be known as part of the family lore.

• survive or perish in the Holocaust or a genocide taking place at another time?

• become a missing person?

• join the clergy or enter a monastery?

• belong to secret societies, occults, sects, or fraternal orders where members were either initiates, or were bound by an oath, or were sworn into service of some sort (eg.:masons, etc.).

• encounter prejudice - being slandered, ignored, disrespected, dishonored, treated with contempt or as an outcast (e.g., homosexuals or lesbians, disabled persons, alcoholics, criminals, street people, war  veterans)?

• complain of being taken advantage of (e.g. with regard to an inheritance)?

• immigrate to another country?

• lose your or their fortune?

• not marry and/or get belittled due to not marrying?

• had some sort of a secret?

•  live an unusual life?

Note: If you don’t know much about your family of origin, either of your parents, or you were adopted the Constellation work can shed light on many things for you.

If you were not able to find anything out – don’t worry, as we your facilitator has the tools do perfect constellations with hardly any information at all.

How to support yourself best after the Constellation Workshop and facilitate your Healing?

The Soul moves slowly

Now, that you have done this amazing work for yourself and your entire family and planted the new healing seeds, it is important to help them grow. You have received new insights and healing images in the soul’s unique language. This has a deep impact and can give your life a new direction. To allow for the healing to be integrated on all levels we need to give these new seeds a respectful space to grow on their own time.

We constantly feel that we all are “on a time element”, and there is no time to wait, as we can miss on something in our fast-paced reality. It is ironic, how our orientation towards instant results, our impatience, and our neurotic need to control everything postpones these very results. It happens because our own disruptive energy interferes with the natural flow of things. Our soul is not a machine that turns on and off, and “changes broken parts” to new ones. It has its own ways to digest and assimilate what touches it. Thoughts are quick; the soul moves slowly. On a soul level, we are deeply connected with all the members of our family system, living and dead. The healing effects of the work touch them all, and unfold in their own time when we let go of the need to do something. Some of these effects are immediate, and some can take years to manifest.

Letting go of Suffering

As we hold all those who belong to our family in conscious love, respecting their fates and their burdens as their own, then the childlike loyalties where love and belonging meant living the consequences of  someone else’s life will serve no further purpose. Suffering is replaced with acknowledging what is.

Subconscious Resistance and holding the new Image in Light

You may, along the way, encounter resistance in the form of thoughts or fears. Just recall the relief you felt deep inside you, when a solution was found or a new image came to light. The soul now holds this new image and will assimilate it over time in the most beneficial way. Any attempt to influence the process by talking, thinking, analyzing, or researching it is completely unnecessary. Trust that you will move forward. The process will keep unfolding over months and years.

Lasting Effects of your Constellation

Entanglements in the family system lay hidden in a deep layer of our unconscious mind that developed very early, much earlier before we had any words or concepts. That is why this unconscious layer is inaccessible to our thinking. A family constellation brings a change in this deep layer, and the change itself is usually also inaccessible to our thinking. That's why I often hear from people who did a constellation: I don't fully understand what happened in the constellation, but I do feel relieved. Something is different now, something has changed.

The only thing you need to do after a constellation is to stay alert for such changes and trust that they are real and lasting.

The lasting effect of a constellation is different from the feeling of liberation you experience immediately. In fact, this deeper effect is not something you feel; instead after some time you begin to notice changes in your life. Sometimes it is only after several months that you begin to notice it. Something that used to bother you has not bothered you for months now, and suddenly you realize this. A recurrent familiar feeling of powerlessness, blockage, or sudden loss of energy has not come back either.